All In Her Head

Hagar is talking to Milkman in her head, as she puts on her new clothes and makeup.

Why don't you love me? I have been here since the beginning, waiting for you and only you. What is it Milkman? Is it my skin? My hair? It must be. You know I can change right. I can be more like the other girl with the "Silky hair the color of a penny"(Morrison 315). I'll do whatever it takes. I'm putting all this makeup on for you Milkman. Do you like the sunny glow? There's not enough? I didn't think so either. It's okay, I'll put on more. How about the lipstick? Yes? I thought you would. I picked out jungle red just for you. I have to go show myself to my mother and grandmother now. Don't worry Milkman you'll get to see me soon. 
  
After Hagar presents herself to Pilate and Reba and realizes how she actually looks. 

How could you lead me on for so long Milkman? And make me believe I could possibly be good enough for you. You never cared for me did you? And you hate my hair. Well I'm sorry mine is not curly, wavy, silky, penny colored hair. I've tried everything to change myself for you. My clothes, my makeup. I can't change my skin and hair. That's not possible. I would if I could but I can't. So why cant that be enough. I love you Milkman. Why can't you love me back? Please. Please...love me. Why are you getting quieter Milkman? Milk? Why can't I hear you? Please don't leave me. Milkman, come back...

Comments

  1. Abby RizkNovember 3, 2019 at 10:58 AM

    I think this was a great scene to use, as there was a ton of opportunity to make internal monologue, which you did very well. I also love the ellipsis, it really shows how interrupted and desperate Hagar's thoughts were.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ashley DavisNovember 3, 2019 at 11:49 AM

    I really liked your writing and how accurately you portrayed Milkman and Hagar's affection towards each other through monologue and the multitude of questions.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Grace DalyNovember 3, 2019 at 12:11 PM

    I also chose Hagar as my character to write from. I liked how you chose two different places in the book to describe her feelings from with the use of monologue. I also love how you ended your writing with a very open feel to it which as a reader made me want more of Hagar's feelings!

    ReplyDelete

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